Things are still pretty much the same as last time I posted. I am understanding most people pretty well, but the sound quality is nowhere near what it was when I had normal hearing. However, I keep reminding myself that compared to what I would have without the CI and hearing aid, it’s amazing. That’s the thing about hearing loss: unlike with most vision problems, it’s nearly impossible to ever get it corrected so it’s just as good as before the loss. Often the best they can do is “ok” — good enough to communicate with and understand (most) people, but that’s about all. So I’ve had to adjust my thinking and try to keep from looking back to when my hearing was perfect, and remember that it’s so much better now than it would be without the CI and hearing aid…and that it’s just never going to be “normal” again — best I can hope for is that I’ll get used to the new normal.

I’ve been looking for a new job lately, and given that most companies are working remotely because of COVID-19, I’ve had to do several video interviews. These have gone surprisingly smoothly; I’ve had little trouble understanding the interviewers, and as a bonus, they most likely have no idea I have a CI because it’s not really visible face-on. (Not that I care who sees it, but unconscious bias is a real thing, and I’d hate to have someone discount me early on because of my hearing problems, so I’m just as happy they don’t know right away.) I also do okay on the phone, with one exception: if the person I’m speaking with has a heavy accent. I spoke with one recruiter and missed half of what he said because of his accent. I’m not blaming people with accents; it’s no one’s fault that I have a harder time understanding them.

When I bought my CI accessories, I decided against the ComPilot, which is basically a combination streamer/remote control. I didn’t need the remote functions (the buttons on the processor do everything I need, and I have no finger or motor control problems that prevent me from using them), and the CI Connect does streaming; and plus, I didn’t want yet another device that I’d have to keep charged. But then I heard that it could stream to both my CI and hearing aid, and I could get actual stereo (CI Connect is mono), and it could pair with more than one Bluetooth device (CI Connect only pairs to a single device plus the TV Connector), so since AB was having a 20% off sale, I decided to order one. And the sound quality actually is better with it — for instance, though music still sounds pretty bad, I can hear bass sounds that I couldn’t with the CI Connect. Phone calls are also a bit clearer, as I hear them in both ears — I hear better with both the CI and HA than I do with either on its own, so having the sound in both helps a lot.

Now if I could only figure out how to use the ComPilot with the TV, that’d be even better. Tried to pair it with the AppleTV, but it said the pairing code was invalid — the same code that had worked with both my phone and iPad. I could buy yet another accessory, the TVLink, that is supposed to work with the ComPilot, but that’d be another couple hundred dollars. Being a cyborg ain’t cheap. The CI Connect/TV Connector do work, so I can just keep using them; it’s just that getting to hear the TV in actual stereo is really tempting. Well, AB’s sale is still going on, so I’ll have to decide before it ends.

Anyway, with the stay-at-home orders lately, the only person I’ve really been interacting with is my husband, and I have no problems understanding him since his is the voice I hear most often. Today we had a friend over — the first one we’ve seen in 2 months — and at first I had a little trouble understanding her. It got easier as time went on; I guess I really need exposure to different voices. TV and audio books help some, but I guess I need to talk to actual people too. I don’t generally have a problem with the semi-weekly work meetings (done over Microsoft Teams), but my coworkers are all men, and I seem to have an easier time with men’s voices than women’s.

Don’t know when I’ll be able to see the audiologist for another mapping. I really wish I could make minor tweaks on my own and try different settings, rather than waiting months in between audiologist visits. Next time I do go, I plan to see if there’s a program she can give me that’ll make music sound better. My current programs are: 1) normal (the one I use 99% of the time); 2) background noise; 3) telecoil; 4) streaming only (external microphones disabled); and 5) headpiece microphone (I use that with the Aqua Case or when I’m biking to cut the wind noise). I do use all of them at one time or another, but since I have 2 processors (the second is meant as a backup in case the other one breaks), I can just ask for either the t-coil or headpiece microphone program to be replaced on one of them, since those are the programs I use least and I probably can sacrifice one of them on one processor. But that’ll probably have to wait until the lockdowns are over and things get back to something resembling normal.

So that’s where I am now. As I said, I definitely hear best with both the CI and HA, and they allow me to get through life relatively normally — I miss things here and there, but I manage for the most part, which I would have a really hard time doing without them. I do wish things sounded better, and most of all that I could enjoy music, but I have hopes that it’ll happen someday. And I’m very grateful for what I do have.