Application for Living in Northern Wisconsin
Name:_______________________________________________
Nickname:________________ C.B. Handle_________________
Mobile Home Color:
( ) Two-tone, Brown and White
( ) Two-tone, Pink and White
( ) Faded Green
Daddy: (if unknown, attach list of three suspects):
_______________ ______________ _____________
Mama: _____________
Neck Shade: ( ) Light Red ( ) Medium Red ( ) Dark Red
Number of teeth in exposed full grin: Upper_____Lower_______
Model of pickup truck:__________ Size of tires: _____________
Number of beer cans on floor of pickup truck:______________________
Truck equipped with:
( ) Gun Rack ( ) Mud Flaps ( ) Camper Top ( ) Air Horn
( ) American Flag ( ) 4-W Drive ( ) 8-Track ( ) Rust
( ) Fuzz Buster ( ) Roll Bar ( ) C.B. ( ) Dents
( ) Load of wood ( ) Mud Tires ( ) Deer poaching spot light
( ) Playboy emblem hanging from rearview mirror
( ) Woman's garter hanging from rearview mirror
( ) Pine tree air freshener hanging from rearview mirror
Bumper Stickers
( ) Honk if You're Horny
( ) *uck 'em Bucky
( ) Almost Heaven, Hayward
( ) Where the Hell is Rhinelander?
( ) Feminazis for Kohl
( ) Wisconsin State Bird: Mosquito
( ) Ducks Unlimited
( ) Walleyes Unlimited
( ) Tommy Bartlett Water Show
( ) Nuke Illinois
( ) Eat Cheese or Die
( ) Cheddarheads for Bush
( ) You'll Get My Gun When You Pry My Cold Dead Fingers From
Around The Barrel
( ) The Pack is Back (on bumper since 1973)
Favorite Meal:
( ) Anything fried in lard
( ) Pickled pigs feet
( ) Bratwurst and Old Milwaukee
( ) Venison sausage and Old Milwaukee
( ) Cheesecurds and Old Milwaukee
( ) Green bean and mushroom soup casserole
( ) Slim Jims and lime Jell-o
Favorite Music:
( ) Country ( ) Western ( ) Country Western
( ) Anything played by an accordian
Favorite Recreation:
( ) Deer Huntin
( ) Snowmobilin
( ) Fishin with live bait
( ) Watching Green Acres reruns
( ) Deer huntin while drinking
( ) Snowmobilin while drinking
( ) Fishin with live bait while drinking
( ) Watchin Green Acres while drinking
Favorite Weapon:
( ) .22 ( ) 30/30 ( ) 30/06 ( ) Ice auger
( ) Chain saw ( ) Tire iron ( ) Forehead ( ) Wife
Favorite Fragrance:
( ) Wet dogs ( ) WD-40 ( ) Old Milwaukee
( ) Minnow bucket ( ) Frying Spam ( ) Diesel fuel
( ) A paper mill on a hot day in August
( ) Fish guts after a week in the trash (in the garage) in August
( ) Any scent eminating from a bodily orifice
Favorite Cap Emblem:
( ) Old Milwaukee ( ) Stihl ( ) Blatz ( ) Skoal
( ) Packers ( ) Pabst ( ) John Deere ( ) Hamms
( ) Brewers ( ) Point Beer
( ) Old Fart ( ) Old Style
Favorite Reading:
( ) Fishing Facts ( ) TV Guide ( ) Beer Bottle labels
( ) Enquirer ( ) Guns & Ammo ( ) Today's Mercenary
( ) Polka Digest ( ) Aryan Review ( ) Welfare Application
( ) Sports Illustrated (swimsuit edition only)
Length of Right Leg: ______ Length of Left Leg: _______
Things in Your Front Yard:
( ) Various kitchen appliances
( ) Piles of split wood
( ) Cars on blocks
( ) Dismantled snowmobiles
( ) Dog run with all the grass worn away down to rock hard dirt
( ) Broken, metal frame, screen gazebo
( ) Deer hanging from tree limb--in season
( ) Deer Hanging from tree limb--out of season
( ) Wood cut-out of bent over woman
When was your last sighting of Elvis?: _________________
Do you wear mostly polyester pant with snags?: ( )yes ( )no
Do you own any shoes? (not counting boots): ( ) yes ( ) no
Are you married to any of the following:
( ) Sister ( ) Cousin ( ) Cousin's sister
Can you beat your wife at arm wrestling? ( )yes ( ) no
Typical Greeting:
( ) Good Moring, dere
( ) Dem Packers is playing like a buncha old women
( ) Dem Brewers is playing like a buncha old women
( ) Dem Badgers is playing like a buncha old women
( ) Dem Bucks is playing like a buncha old women
( ) Dey should take da whole buncha dem Madison liberals and
queers and line em up and shoot em.
( ) Dey should just let dem Indians spear dose idiots at the DNR
( ) Ya, hey
Favorite Tavern Name:
( ) County Trunk Bar ( ) Dew Drop Inn
( ) Deer Drop Inn ( ) Deer Droppings Inn
( ) LakeSide Supper Club ( ) LakeView Supper Club
( ) LakeWood Supper Club ( ) PineSide Supper Club
( ) PineView Supper Club ( ) PineWood Supper Club
Favorite Automobile:
( ) '67 Ford Galaxy
( ) '67 Ford Galaxy with transmission
( ) '67 Ford Galaxy with '73 Chevy Impala transmission
( ) '67 Ford Galaxy with '73 Chevy Impala transmission and '71 Buick
LeSabre engine
Farthest Point South Ever Traveled:
( ) County Trunk GG ( ) County Trunk CC ( ) County Trunk Bar
( ) Winter ( ) Polar ( ) Klondike
( ) Maple ( ) Poplar ( ) Birchwood
( ) Manitowish ( ) Namekagon ( ) Ojibwa
( ) Peru ( ) Scandinavia ( ) Athens
( ) Irma ( ) Helma ( ) Loretta
( ) Beaver ( ) An ice shanty on the Flambeau Flowage
Most Memorable Event You've Ever Attended
( ) Minocqua Moose Call Competition
( ) Phelps Mister Potato Carnival
( ) Gleason Grouse Mating Gala
( ) Herbster Jaycees Seagull Doo-Doo Days
( ) Lake Tomahawk Crew Cut Championships
( ) Omega Outboard Motor Repair Finals
( ) Spread Eagle International Proctologists Convention
( ) Chetek Carp Queen Beauty Contest and Carp Cuisine Cook-Off
( ) Eagle River Shout-Off for the Deaf (held week after the
snowmobile races)
Your Signature (an X will do): ________________________________
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