Kirk:  Ah... hello Mister Spock.
Spock:  Good day, Captain.
Kirk:  Are you an avid baseball fan?
Spock:  Baseball is a tactical game played on a geometric pattern of 4 sides with a spherical object.  The purpose is to knock
the 'shit out of' the object amidst loud verbalizations of 'Hurrah' and 'Kock 'em on their ass.'  Is this correct?
Kirk:  Indeed.  We are in the process of learning about one of the baseball teams from old Earth.
Spock:  Oh? I am quite versed with old Earth history... perhaps I may be of assistance.
Kirk:  That's the idea.
Spock:  Very well... proceed.
Kirk:  Alright... Who's on first.
Spock:  I am unable to determine who is on first without proper information concerning the team and year, sir.
Kirk:  So?
Spock:  Perhaps we could start with who the team is, and I can test the accuracy.
Kirk:  No... Who's on first.
Spock:  I do not know.
Kirk:  No... he's third base.
Spock:  Who is?
Kirk:  No... he's first base.
Spock:  Who is?
Kirk:  Correct.
Spock:  Who is correct?
Kirk:  Sometimes.
Spock:  Who is sometimes?
Kirk:  No... Who is first baseman.  I'm not familiar with Sometimes' identity.
Spock:  Whose identity?
Kirk:  No... him I know... he's first baseman.
Spock:  Who is?
Kirk:  Right.
Spock:  Perhaps we can discuss the identity of the second baseman.
Kirk:  What.
Spock:  I said the second baseman.
Kirk:  What.
Spock:  This is highly illogical.  You have no apparent auditory disfunction, sir.  Now, as I asked... who is the second baseman?
Kirk:  No... you didn't ask that, and Who is the first baseman.
Spock:  I am not familiar with that piece of information, sir.
McCoy:  Dammit, Spock!  You messed up the whole setup there!
Spock:  Forgive me Doctor... I am not a comedian.
McCoy:  Obviously.
Spock:  That much is certain.
McCoy:  Just get back to the skit.
Spock:  Very well. Captain... I ask you... politely... who is the second baseman?
Kirk:  No... Who is the first baseman.  What is the second baseman.
Spock:  That is incorrect, Captain.  The second baseman is obviously a sentient being, and therefore should be referred to as who, and not what.  'Who is the second baseman,' not 'what is the second baseman.'
Kirk:  Wrong, Spock.  Who is the first baseman, and What is the second baseman.
Spock:  That statement is most illogical.
Kirk:  Okay... wait a minute.  We'll get Scotty... he's Scottish...he must love baseball.  Oh Mister Scott...
Scott:  Aye, Cap'n?
Kirk:  Who is the first baseman of the team we were talking about.
Scott:  Aye, Cap'n.  It ain't never been any other way!
Kirk: You see, Spock?
Spock: Yes... Mister Scott seems to know the material well. Alright, Mister Scott... who is the second baseman?
Scott:  Ach! No, Mister Spock!  That be What you're talking about!
Spock:  I know that be what... er... is what I'm talking about.  I am very intelligent, and rarely lose track of what I am talking about.
Scott: Ach!  Don't bring track inta this!  That be a bloomin' field event!
Spock:  What has this got to do with field events?
Scott:  Ach! No!  What's the second baseman!
Spock:  Again, I note that a person should be referred to as 'who' and not 'what' Mister Scott.
Scott:  Only if he's tha first baseman, Mister Spock!
Spock:  What you are saying is most illogical.
Scott:  Ach!  No!  What's a real bright fella!
Spock:  Who is a 'real bright fella' Mister Scott?
Scott:  No!  Who... now he's a real dope, sir!
Spock:  Who is?
Scott:  Right!
Spock:  You are relieved, Mister Scott.
Scott:  Aye, sir.
Spock:  Sir... this is most illogical, and I am no longer interested in learning who the second baseman is.  I am also growing impatient.
Kirk:  No... Who's the first baseman.
Spock:  Very well sir.  Good day, gentlemen, or whoever you are.

[Spock leaves.]

Kirk: Whoever!  I forgot about him!  Wait... I don't remember a Whoever on the team...


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