X-News: drew du.chatter:339
From: Ken Rosen
Subject:Chainsaw blues
Date: 13 Jul 90 14:08:15 GMT

A tree fell in the forest last night, and boy, did I ever hear it.

It was about 2:45am, when suddenly amidst the pitter-pattering rainfall there was a rustle rustle-rustle CRACK rustle-crack ssssshhhhhh CRACK SHAKALAKAWAKABAM! badumpbadumpbadumpbadumpbadump--oops! That last part was actually my rapidly beating heart. The tree fell right up against Tolley, nearly coming through the windows on the first floor, which would have given the Shakespeare interns a pretty good start ("Hark! What tree through yonder window breaks!")

Well, secur--oops! I mean Public Safety--came by to ensure that the fallen tree was not pinning down any Drew students, who naturally lurk in the forest behind Tolley in the rain at 2:45am. Luckily, no one was hurt, but the officer did ticket the tree for taking up 2 unauthorized parking spaces. I went to bed secure in the knowledge that Drew does indeed posess a security force willing to go out on a limb for us.

Unfortunately, in this case, Public Safety proved a bit too efficient: I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a man with a chainsaw. Luckily, this man had no beef with me; unfortunately, he had a pretty sizable bone to pick with the tree. Right outside my window. For the next hour.

So I missed a decent night's sleep during the most conducive weather for sleep- ing all summer. At least I learned something: If a tree falls in the forest, and you're around to hear it, shut down your local power grid before you go to sleep.

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