In keeping with the renaming of National
Airport to Ronald Reagan National Airport, the FAA has required the following
changes to be made on all flights:
1. A portion of all ticket sales must be routed to Iran.
2. Vegetarian meals will consist only of ketchup.
3. I don't recall.
4. First class seating will drastically improve, while coach class will
be moved to the baggage section.
5. No flights will depart between the hours of 1-4pm for "naptime".
6. Should quality concerns arise, baggage handlers are required to invade
Dulles to distract critics.
7. Ticket prices for wealthy passengers will be slashed to increase air
travel by the poor.
8. All passengers are required to shred all travel documents before boarding.
9. I don't recall.
10. Sleeping accommodations on all flights should include: pillow, blanket,
and a chimp named "Bonzo".
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