for your amusement ...
As I sit here imbibing caffeine in the diet, liquid form, I would like to tell you a story concerning the Bible, and of all things, the Pepsi Company.
First, some background: A while back, all of the campus vending machines, which had been Coke based, were mysteriously removed and replaced with those of the Pepsi variety. I will not debate the relative merits of the two famous carbonated beverages, that exercize is left to those who like debate. Suffice to say that they replaced Pepsi for Coke.
Next, our small, student-center pizza place has been beset by rumors that it was going to be bought out by a chain so that it could be more profitable. And what is one of the leading candidates to buy it? Pizza Hut. Parent Company? Just guess.
Finally, a very large, obnoxious, flashing sign was erected on the main roadway leading to the CSU gymnasium. Not only did it break all the zoning laws, but it was put near an intersection so that everyone could read it when they were stopped at the lights. Unfortunately, many people have decided that reading the sign is much more interesting than driving, so that the number of close calls and "You fucking idiot"'s have increased exponentially. The kicker to all of this, says the administration anyway, is that in this time of severe budget cuts, not a single penny has come out of the "general fund" to pay for the sign. In fact, it was donated by a particular sponsor. Uh-huh.
Anyway, this chain of events is only remotely related to the real point of all this, which is how the Bible and PepsiCo are related.
Well ....
One very astute reader of the Fort Collins Coloradian (yes, that's what it's called; no coincidence that Ganette is the publisher -- same one that publishes, you guessed it, USA TODAY) noticed that in some chapter of the bible it says something to the effect of "a new generation will look for a sign and that sign will come from Jonah; ignore that sign for it is the devil's work, etc." As you can tell, I'm certainly not a Bible scholar, but I hope you get the general idea. According to this person, the "sign" is really the whizzy flashing sign erected by PepsiCo, the choice of a "new generation." How does Jonah fit in with all this? Our main sports facility is the "Moby" gymnasium.
Therefore, this new flashing sign is the work of Satan.
Who needs to make up jokes, when reality is this funny?
Zube
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