Editor's Note: This is the only OJ joke that I found funny enough to include on this page.

Lance Ito's Sidebar & Grill

If You Have An Hour To Kill,
Please Join Us For Dinner

APPETIZERS

ROSA LOPEZ NACHOS...................$3.95
Spicy, with a thick Mexican accent.
Nachos haven't been this good since...well, we can't remember!
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SALADS

KATO SALAD..............................$3.95
An empty head of lettuce, with very little dressing.
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FROM THE BAR

RON GOLDMAN WINE....................$3.95
Young vintage, good body. But you have to bring your own glasses.

PAULA BARBIERI COCKTAIL............$3.95
O.J. with a little honey on the side. Goes down real easy.

MARCIA CLARK BEER....................$1.95
We thought we had a case, but now we're not sure.
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SANDWICHES

SIMPSON ALIBI SANDWICH.............$4.25
Full of baloney, and hard to swallow, but lots of stupid people are buying it!
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SOUP

SOUP DuJURY..............................$4.95
Aged for over a year. May be bitter.
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FROM THE GRILL

MARK FUHRMAN CHICKEN PLATE....$5.95
Absolutely no dark meat.

VEAL A'LA NICOLE........................$4.95
Well battered, and sliced. Served without the head.

DENNIS FUNG PLATE......................$5.95
Grilled detective, served open face. May be contaminated.
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DESSERT

Sorry, our Bakery is TEMPORARILY CLOSED. The Lawyers have taken all the dough.

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