[Editor's note: Every summer the New Jersey Governor's School in the Sciences takes place at Drew University. This is a program for high school students between their junior and senior years; they stay on campus for 4 weeks taking courses and doing team projects in math, computers, and the various sciences. The following true story is by one of my classmates who was working with me in Drew's Computer Center in the summer of 1991.]

From: Rob Solomon
Newsgroups: du.chatter
Subject: Govvies... be afraid, be very afraid.
Date: 26 Jul 91 16:01:45 EDT

They're getting out of hand. No, really they are. This afternoon I was sitting at the desk and a whole gaggle of giggling girls walked into room five, but decided that maybe it was a little out of their league and would stick with room four. As they walked by I asked if there was anything I could help them with, to which they replied "Yeah, I'll probably need help doing it". Well, this was an obvious set up, but I kept my manners and grinned politely. A few minutes later a timid soft-spoken girl walked up to the desk and asked "Excuse me, but can you help me do it?". I couldn't help myself anymore and replied "Well, that's a personal question don't you think?" They're obviously far too young, and have absolutely NO sense of humor, because she just stared blankly at me, as if I had said something totally incomprehensible and over her head.

Well, this was wierd enough, but immediatly after that, I returned to my post (well, it's really Adam's but I'm sitting in). That in itself isn't so strange. What was really odd, was that two more governor's school students walked in with very excited looks on their faces. They glanced quickly around and asked "CAN WE SWAB YOUR KEYBOARD?" ... I was so taken aback by this I completely missed the obvious chance at yet another sexual joke. I was stunned. "huh?" sez I. "We want to swab your keyboards for bacteria!!" Well, of course I was honored, but I just didn't know what to say. "It's only water! It's really only damp! it won't hurt your board a bit! I promise!". By this time I'm just about falling off my chair laughing. Finally I consented to have my keyboard swabbed. It was quite an odd experience. I highly recommend it.

Finally, they came out with a very confusing and almost insulting request. All of a sudden they both got this eerie gleam in their eyes as they spotted... yes... my COFFEE CUP! They wanted to swab my COFFE CUP FOR CHRISSAKE! I just looked at them. And then I DID fall off my chair laughing. "Hey, I brush my teeth! You won't find much" Well, while I was under the desk laughing, they snatched my coffee cup and started running a giant q-tip all over it! I honestly had no idea how to take all of this. I mean, my coffee cup!

It's been a very wierd afternoon. To top it off, I walked outside and there was someone carrying an open umbrella. It wasn't raining. I gotta go do something mundane and stable... I'm far too fragile for this sort of thing.

-rob

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