ARIES: Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
TAURUS: Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
GEMINI: Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
CANCER: Dear God!!!
LEO: Yes?
VIRGO: Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
LIBRA: Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO: Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the b*****ds don't deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS: Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN: Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS: Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES: Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.
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